Since my first long-term relationship ended with the father of my oldest son, I’ve had a revolving door of toxic and abusive relationships. For almost a decade I haven’t spent so much as six months completely on my own.
I’m on a mission to change that.
So, I am dedicating a year (at least) to being single. Here’s how I’m doing it.
The Rules
No Dating
This one is simple but also the main point. No more dating apps, no more searching people out and no dating even if I find someone I’m interested in more organically.
No Sex
There is nothing wrong with being single and still having a sex life. But my focus is entirely on myself and my relationship with myself so I’m avoiding complicating my efforts by taking sex out of the equation.
Focusing On The Positives Of Being Single
It can be really easy to get into all the negatives of being single, especially when you haven’t been single in a long time. I want to keep my focus on all the positives and stay the course.
The Why’s
To Learn How To Be On My Own Again
To Regain My Freedom
To Figure Out What I Want
To Work On Self Improvement
To Learn Self-Love
To Learn To Self-Soothe
The How
My whole plan for this next year is to focus on improving myself and getting closer to my truth and what I truly want for my life.
Taking A Step Back From Social Media
Not only am I tired of comparing myself to others online, but I’m tired of the screen-time and focus society has on couples or if you are single trying not to be single. I’ve deleted my TikTok and deactivated my Facebook, the only socials I want to be using are Pinterest, my blog and YouTube.
Focusing On Being Self-Partnered
There’s being single and then there is being self-partnered. Emma Watson was the one who brought popularity to the term self-partnered. Being self-partnered is more than just being single, it’s actively working on the relationship you have with yourself and nurturing your whole being like a partner would.
Working On My Physical Health
A big focus this next year is going to go towards my physical health, my sleep hygiene, my daily routines, nourishing and moving my body.
Working On My Mental Health
I’ve been working hard on my mental health for many years now, but this year I really want to get serious. This includes things like working on my self-love, self-soothing and confidence.
Focusing On Family And Friends
I think this is going to be a huge help for me. Focusing on nurturing the relationships outside of romance is going to really make a difference when it comes to stay social and avoiding dating.
Conclusion
taking a year to be single is going to take work but it’s going to be fulfilling work. I plan to enrich my life with my independence and start living my life on my own terms.
Thank you for reading this post, I hope it was helpful to you. I look forward to continuing to share my self-partnered journey with you.
All the best wishes,
Ky <3